Three Generations of Brunettes and Redheads
by phoenixyfriend
Summary: Because reincarnation likes to mess with people, and crack likes to play around even more.
1. Chapter 1

The first generation of this series of seemingly random reincarnation was that of the Shodai Hokage and his wife, known in this world as James Potter and Lily Evans.

…Yeah, you should probably run now.

o.o.o.o.o

James Potter, as a young child, was well known for his strange and somewhat disturbing love of trees. While some people would refer to him as a tree-hugger, they rarely realized that he often actually did go out and literally hug trees.

…He was a weird kid.

o.o.o.o.o

Lily Evans, as a young child, was well known for being nice, a little odd, willing to befriend that Snape kid, and for being a manipulative little thing when the mood suited her. The fact that she managed to talk her sister into being excited and happy for her rather than resentful spoke volumes in and of itself.

…She was a weird kid.

o.o.o.o.o

Sirius Black was not a moron. In fact, he prided himself on being just as cunning and intelligent as Slytherins claimed to be without succumbing to the evil ambitions and overall bigotry that the house was also associated with. So he generally knew how to deal with most situations, even if the choice sometimes depended on what would irritate his parents the most. Befriending the Potter kid seemed like a good idea.

This idea was put to the test by the revelation that said boy was COMPLETELY INSANE.

"You... you are PERFECT best friend material." Potter told him solemnly. "Your family. Your drive for peace. Even your hair!"

"...My hair." Sirius deadpanned, wondering whether he should pull his hands away from Potter's.

"Yes." There was a pause, and then Potter started tearing up again.

Strangely enough, the bawling-infused hug that Potter gave him was timed almost perfectly with Lucius Malfoy's attempt to 'check up on him.'

Even more strangely, Potter released him the second the older boy was gone and pointed out a window, jabbering away about trees.

o.o.o.o.o

Hashirama's first action, upon seeing Sirius Black, was to decide that he was too much like Madara not to befriend. He wouldn't be a replacement, because one doesn't just replace friends like that, but the nostalgia was too much.

Hashirama's first action, upon seeing Lily Evans, was to stare at her hair and immediately compliment her on it.

Hashirama's first action, upon seeing Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Severus Snape, was to declare that they all looked like sad bunnies, and that he would hug them until they smiled forever.

Then he made a tree reference and Lily stared at him strangely, catching on to the fact that something was amiss.

"...Do you believe in the Will of Fire?"

Everyone else was confused, but Hash looked like he was about to cry tears of fluffy joy. "Yes! We have to pass on our—" A hand, apparently Sirius's, was over his mouth.

"...Do I get to know who I'm talking to?"

Hash, not wanting to hurt his new, possibly unwilling best friend, held up a hand and grew some wood into the shape of a large number one.

"...Hashirama, if that's you..."

The boy in question nodded gleefully, and then pointed at Lily questioningly.

She just pinched the bridge of her nose. "Black, hands off for a second."

And then they were hugging.

And then they were kissing.

And then she was hitting him over the head. "Do you even know what happened to Tsunade after she grew up? Gambling happened, Hashirama. _Gambling_."

"It's nice to see you too, Mito-chan!" There was no sarcasm in his voice.

He proceeded to hug her with a wide grin, ignoring the unsorted Firsties around them.

o.o.o.o.o

Sirius Black's reaction to learning that his supposed best friend was the reincarnation of a legendary ninja was one of profound relief.

"Oh, so there _is_ a reason you're completely insane. I just thought you were bonkers."

Remus Lupin's reaction was simply of shock, though that may have been because Hash had decided to share out of a sense of… something, given that the boys had just figured out that he was a werewolf.

Peter Pettigrew's reaction was one of awe.

Severus Snape just turned to Lily, who nodded, and then decided to wallow in despair for a while, because really, that was just what one _did_ upon finding out that a legendary ninja had all the maturity, cynicism, and gravity of a baby chipmunk.

How was the man a Gryffindor again? He was clearly supposed to be a Hufflepuff.

"Let's go to the Forbidden Fo—"

"Hashirama, _no_."

Ah, yes. That was why.

o.o.o.o.o

"Is he hugging the Whomping Willow?"

"Yes."

"…Lily…"

"If you want to stop him, go right ahead."

"But—"

"For the love of Merlin, he's just hugging a tree!"

"But it's a _violent_ tree!"

"It looks like it's hugging him."

"…D*mn it, you're right."

o.o.o.o.o

"Severus, I know this is a hard decision for you to make."

"It really isn't."

"And I know that you're being pressured by a lot of people."

"It's actually not that many."

"And I know that _you need support_."

"I really, really don't."

"And I just want you to know that if you need someone to take care of them so that they stop bothering you, I will _hug them 'til they repent_ and you'll be okay."

"Oh, for the love of— Listen, I'm not joining the Death Eaters!"

"…Do you need a hug anyway?"

"Potter, you're ridiculous. Now let go of me, I can't feel my arms."

o.o.o.o.o

"My parents kicked me out." Sirius stood on the doorstep, bedraggled, wet, and completely bereft of any belongings.

"…You are staying here for the rest of your life." Hashirama promised.

"Actually, just a few weeks would be fi—"

"_We can be roommates here too!"_

o.o.o.o.o

James had a face that radiated pure joy. "We're having a _prophecy baby?!_"

Lily smacked him. "Don't you remember what happens to children of prophecy?"

"They grow up to be totally awesome." Hashirama asserted.

o.o.o.o.o

Somewhere in the realm of the dead, the woman that was once Uzumaki Mito faced her husband of two lifetimes with folded arms.

"I told you that it was a bad idea to switch to Peter."

"But… but…"

"This always happens with you. You can never just be friends with someone and not get betrayed at some point."

"…Mito-chan, I need a hug."

"…Come here."

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: This is going to be a three-part story. Just three chapters, so don't get your hopes up, and don't suggest ANYONE, because I already have them planned. If you make a suggestion, I reserve the right to blow up at you.**

**For that matter, just ignore the fact that Snape was never a Death Eater here. Imagine that someone else told Voldie about the prophecy. This story is crack anyway. I even exaggerated Hashirama. I didn't know that was possible.**

**And each omake is just going to be a "What if more than just them was reincarnated" sort of thing.**

o.o.o.o.o

**Omake: Madara as Sirius**

"D*MN IT, SENJU, LET GO OF ME!" Madara raged, trying to get Hashirama to _let him go_.

"NEVER!"

From the doorway, Lily Evans and Severus Snape looked on in mild annoyance and horror respectively.

"Lily, maybe we should go."

"Nah, if those two are who I think they are, this is totally normal."

"Does he hug everyone like that?" Because if he did, Severus was just going to run.

"No, just that guy."

"_Did you just break my ribs?!"_

o.o.o.o.o

"Madara, I need to know that you aren't going to—"

"I'm not going to go evil, Senju."

"For realsies?"

"…I am genuinely concerned for your mental health."

o.o.o.o.o

Severus stumbled into the doorway of Sirius Black's apartment. "James and Lily… _dead…_"

"…Wow, that moron managed to get himself killed even faster than last time." Madara glanced at his watch. "…Yeah, I've got time for a little revenge kick. Make yourself at home, I've got people to humiliate and possibly kill."

"Wait, what?"

Madara stalked out the front door with a large butcher's knife and a hockey mask.


	2. Chapter 2

The second generation of this series of seemingly random reincarnation was that of the youngest Uchiha and his overly-friendly tracker, known in this world as Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.

…Yeah, you should definitely run now.

o.o.o.o.o

Harry Potter, as a young child, was prone to either glaring or being completely emotionless in the face of anyone and anything. He devoured historical texts, particularly those regarding large wars. He was neither greedy nor careless, and never made any comment beyond a condescending sneer when questioned as to whether he was bothered by the fact that he had the smaller of the two bedrooms in the house. He didn't flinch during horror films or shy away from the scarier animals in the zoos. His sense of humor, when he used it so rarely, was macabre or demeaning. He was far too mature for his age.

…He was a scary kid.

o.o.o.o.o

Ginny Weasley, as a young child, was prone to disturbing people with grotesque displays of medical knowledge in an attempt to disgust them. She didn't cry when she was born, but she did scream. And once she stopped screaming, she just started glaring at the world. She eventually stopped, but then she started learning to read and write and talk at an extremely fast rate, and learning as much about Healing as she could, particularly the results of duels.

…She was a scary kid.

o.o.o.o.o

Hermione Granger was a smart girl. She was a _clever_ girl. She knew what the Wizarding World had to say about Harry Potter.

She knew that it did not say that he was an asocial, condescending, arrogant jerk who tended to reply with a grunt when he didn't find the conversation interesting.

She narrowed her eyes, and dragged the somewhat shocked boy with the red hair out of the room.

"…That's Harry Potter?" The boy finally croaked, seeming horrified.

"Apparently." Hermione said, and then started to pace. "What house do you think he's going to be in?"

"Slytherin." The boy said immediately. "Definitely not a Hufflepuff, and—"

"Don't just automatically make an assumption based on whether he's nice or not." Hermione snapped, and then backtracked a bit when she saw his face. "Listen, he might just be a little mean. He might be smart enough for Ravenclaw, or he might be willing to jump into dangerous situations without—"

Ron ignored her and opened the door again. "Oi, what house do you think you'll be in?"

"…Not Hufflepuff. Long story, but definitely not Hufflepuff. And I like to think I'm not reckless enough for Gryffindor." Without Ron's knowledge, Sasuke was thinking over the number of times he had backstabbed people after he turned twelve. Konoha, Orochimaru, Itachi, Orochimaru in a different way, Konoha again in a different way, his teammates, his other teammates, Tobi, Kabuto, Tobi again in a stronger way…

"Okay, thanks." Ron closed the door and turned back to Hermione. "So, Ravenclaw or Slytherin."

Hermione seemed extremely miffed at something, but pushed the feeling down.

"Why did you want to know, anyway?" Ron tilted his head a little.

"We can't just let him stay like that!" Hermione squeaked, her voice going into a register that only teenaged girls could reach. "The Wizarding World will eat him alive!"

Ron stared at her, owl-eyed. "Okay, and?"

"One of us will have to go into Ravenclaw, the other into Slytherin, and then we'll work together to get him more suited to society. Teach him how to interact with people without insulting them." Hermione declared, slightly grandiose.

"…That seems kind of manipulative to me." Ron admitted. "I mean, he seems perfectly happy the way he is, you know?"

"Maybe, but he needs to learn." Hermione huffed, crossing her arms.

"You know, I can hear everything your saying." Harry's voice came through the screen.

Ron and Hermione froze, though Hermione seemed a bit more panicked than Ron did. With a mocking chuckle, Harry opened the door. "Still, I wouldn't mind some company wherever I end up."

Hermione took a step back, a little intimidated.

"Yeah…" Ron just sent him a funny look. "You're really weird, mate."

"And you're surprisingly calm." Harry smirked and crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway.

"You remind me of my sister. After you see an eight-year-old girl drive a grown man barmy for the fifth time just by talking about Healing spells and the injuries that need them, you kind of just…" He shrugged.

Harry, for reasons unknown, seemed rather interested. "Your sister wants to be a Healer?"

"I think she wants to be an auror, actually." Ron flinched. "She says that she'd enjoy the chase or something. I don't really get it, but…"

A strange look entered Harry's eyes, and he gestured back into the carriage, urging the mentally younger students in. "Tell me… has she ever said anything about reincarnation?"

Ron froze, and then slowly turned. "Yeah…"

"The Uzumaki?"

Ron nodded.

"…Karin?"

"Okay, how do you know all this?"

"Because I lived it." A grin crossed his face, and suddenly, the lauded Harry Potter was laughing. "Oh, this is going to be interesting."

Ron just stared at him, then turned to Hermione and nodded.

The day ended with an extremely intelligent muggleborn in Ravenclaw, and with both a Potter and a _Weasley_ in Slytherin.

"…Mum's going to go into shock."

o.o.o.o.o

"Potter isn't like his father." Snape mused to McGonagall.

"Oh?"

"James Potter was an excitable eccentric with too much power and a naive love for practically anything that breathed, and quite a few things that didn't."

"And Harry?"

"Is a nasty little b**tard with too much power and condescending disdain for the world."

"...He IS a Slytherin."

"Unfortunately."

"Just give the boy a chance."

"I did. He's been perfectly polite… and utterly, infuriatingly smug."

o.o.o.o.o

"What's with that look on your face, Potter?" Malfoy sneered.

"I'm sorry, what was that? All I could hear was the buzzing of an insignificant gnat."

"_Okay!_" Ron pushed his way between them as quickly as possible. "How about we just keep this civil and try not to get detention."

"Fine by me." Harry smirked and walked off. Ron just groaned and put a hand to his head.

This was going to take a while.

o.o.o.o.o

"Let me get this straight." Sasuke ran a hand through his hair in frustration with the stupidity of the world surrounding him. "You want to get this rock that grants immortality and turns any metal into gold. But you can't because it is _magically hidden inside a mirror._"

"Yes." Quirrel seemed slightly confused by Potter's words.

"And you didn't think that, oh, maybe I could just, you know, _smash the mirror?_" For emphasis, he pointed at it. "It's right there!"

"If the stone were to be _damaged_—"

"Oh please, it's not like you were going to get it anyway." Sasuke snorted. "Your stupidity annoys me. And that face on the back of your head? Alright, for one thing, it's utterly disgusting, and for another, it monologues far too much. Are you trying to talk or stupid me to death?"

Quirrel pulled out his wand, but before he could say even a single word, he was engulfed in black flames.

Sasuke only spoke on word. "Burn."

o.o.o.o.o

Ron watched the meeting between his supposed best friend (only friend other than Hermione, really) and his sister with apprehension.

This was mostly because they were fighting with the ferocity of tigers and twice the skill. On a crowded train platform. With no one the wiser.

"You haven't trained much, have you?" Sasuke smirked down at his former teammate.

"Please." Karin snorted. "Like there's any need to in _this_ world."

"Tch."

o.o.o.o.o

"Heir of Slytherin?" Harry thought it over. "Yeah, okay. Sounds regal. I'll take it."

Ron groaned again. His sister, somehow a Ravenclaw, just rolled her eyes. Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose.

Maybe he should find some books on de-stressing.

o.o.o.o.o

"You!" Sasuke pointed at Lockhart. "You have failed the ultimate test of being both pretty _and_ competent!"

"…What?" Lockhart was genuinely confused.

"Time for a bishie-off!"

Sasuke, for the record, had been getting really, really bored.

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke looked at the book in his hands, and then back at Karin.

"It's got the same energy as my scar?"

"Obviously. I would have thrown it out otherwise."

"…Huh. So… find out what was in there and Amaterasu it?"

"Sure."

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke stared at the giant snake.

Well… time to get a new pet.

o.o.o.o.o

"We should put these flames to good use." Karin muttered.

"We're burning a piece of Voldemort's soul. Isn't that a good enough use?" Sasuke asked.

"Marshmallows."

"…Do you have any?"

"Yes."

"…Huh."

Begrudgingly, Ron and Hermione joined in on the 'festivities.'

o.o.o.o.o

Harry nonchalantly pulled Draco out of the way of Buckbeak's attack, not breaking eye contact with the beast once it caught his eyes.

He _so_ did not need his Sharingan for this. Just force of will.

Aw, yeah.

o.o.o.o.o

"You knew my parents?" Actually, Sasuke thought, he'd been wondering a bit about them.

"Yes," Remus answered with a fond, nostalgic smile. "Your father was one of my best friends."

"Do you know why my aunt acts so strangely when I ask her about him?"

Remus had a flashback to the first meeting between James and Petunia.

_"Ah! You're Lily's sister!" James got uncomfortably close. "I am going to smother you in love and affection, and we will PLANT TREES TOGETHER because TREES ARE AWESOME."_

_Sirius, in the background: "He means that literally. It's not a sex joke. He genuinely wants to go out and just plant stuff. And ignore the rest, because he's an idiot."_

_"You can't deny the truth! LOVE IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND."_

_"James, sweetie? Shut up."_

_"'Kay, Lily."_

_Petunia: shell-shocked_

_Snape: "...It never ends, you know. It isn't an act."_

Remus smiled faintly. "That's a long story involving far, far too many tree metaphors."

"…Did he ever mention reincarnation?" Please, let it be someone respectable…

Remus looked at him strangely. "Yes. Do the names Mito and Hashirama mean anything to—"

"_My father was the Shodai Hokage?!"_

o.o.o.o.o

"Okay, I believe you."

Sirius stared at him in abject shock. "…Really?"

"Governments tend to be full of corrupt idiots that jump to conclusions."

"Is this about Itachi?"

"Not now."

"It is, isn't it?"

"Fine, yes, it is. Can you let it go now?"

"You know, I would have thought the Sharingarm was more of an outrage, you kno—"

"Shut up!"

"…Ha, I win."

o.o.o.o.o

Ron watched Harry carefully after the Goblet called his name.

First he blinked.

Then he grinned.

Then he laughed.

Then he fell off of the bench.

Then he continued to laugh on the floor.

Ron groaned again as his sister just stood up and threw a roll at Harry hard enough to leave a bruise.

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke crossed his arms and stared at the dragon.

It stared warily back.

"So…_ Sharingan_."

Bam. Instant win.

They were probably going to drive themselves crazy trying to figure out how he'd done it.

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke ran out over the water, laughing at the shocked expressions of the other contestants.

Let's see, he hadn't actually bothered to try to prepare beyond "sharingan my way out, just to mess with them," but since he knew that Karin was probably the one down there…

"Susanoo!"

Well, would you look at that. He now had giant swimming armor.

Sweetness.

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke nudged Barty Crouch with his foot, rather dispassionate. "…Huh. Well, let's carry him back up to the castle."

"_Stupefy!"_

Sasuke dodged, and then held back Krum from running after the man. "It could be dangerous."

Krum stared at him in disbelief, knowing that he would probably dismiss him as a threat, just as he had the previous two challenges. Krum couldn't exactly call him out on his thoughts, though.

_Where would the fun in catching the guy be?_

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke stared at the maze. He looked at his opponents, who had by now realized that he was probably going to do something ridiculous to win.

Sasuke grinned at them just as he heard the whistle blow, and then ran up the side of the maze, jumping over the tops as he once had across rooftops in Konoha, hopping his way to victory.

Noobs.

o.o.o.o.o

"A graveyard? Really?" Sasuke scoffed, wondering just when he'd lost his aloof avenger mask. Meh. It wasn't important.

Voldemort stared him down with bright red eyes. Amateur.

After speaking his way through a monologue for way, way too long, and cutting him off the headstone (wow, really? Even Naruto hadn't been that stu… never mind), Voldemort had also tried to Imperio him.

Sasuke actually pretended to flip hair (that he didn't have) over his shoulder, scoffing aloud. "Amateur."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed and he raised his wand, but Sasuke was already ahead of him. "Susanoo!"

The giant warrior flipped Voldemort off as Sasuke went to go get the cup, which would presumably take him back.

o.o.o.o.o

Karin punched him. "You are _such_ a moron."

"Aw, that's so cute. You think your opinion matters."

She kneed him in the groin.

"Okay," he croaked out, "Your opinion matters."

"D*mn straight it does."

o.o.o.o.o

"So… this place is depressing."

"Not as depressing as Orochimaru's labs."

"…Pretty close, though."

"Shut up, Sasuke-kun."

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke felt a wide, sardonic grin begin growing across his face at the sight of Umbridge.

Ron put a hand over his face. "Not again…"

o.o.o.o.o

Umbridge ran out of the classroom, screaming about giant pink cockroaches.

Sasuke cackled quietly in his seat.

o.o.o.o.o

Wow, the papers were really going all-out about this.

Should he start caring and doing damage control?

…He wasn't on the must-kill list for most of Europe yet, so he wasn't in all that bad of a situation. He could deal… and laugh at whoever was writing this.

o.o.o.o.o

Okay, so a dream about Sirius being tortured.

Hm…

_Hm…_

Nah, he was probably fine. The dream had felt like a Genjutsu anyway.

The papers the next day were announcing the arrest of a number of members of high-society and a reported sighting of Voldemort by half of the Auror corps and the Minister himself.

o.o.o.o.o

Karin lay sprawled across the couch in the so called Room of Requirement, her head in Sasuke's lap.

He blinked at her.

She blinked at him.

His eyes were emotionless.

Her eyes were saucily condescending.

"...You gonna kiss me or not?" Karin muttered, an odd lilt to her voice, as though quoting a song.

"D***it, Karin." Sasuke hissed, his Sharingan turning off. "Every time."

"What do you expect, that I just let you win?"

o.o.o.o.o

"Oh, come on!" Ron protested. "My sister?"

Yes." Harry's arms remained folded, and Ginny just ignored the both of them.

"But..."

"To be fair, I've been wanting to jump his bones since before he was even the Boy-Who-Lived." Said little sister pointed out.

Ron buried his face in his hands. "Oh Merlin..."

Hermione patted his shoulder comfortingly.

o.o.o.o.o

"Oh, so they're just pieces of his soul?" Sasuke blinked. "In that case, I'll just ask Karin to help me hunt them down."'

"My dear boy, this is not something that a child such as—"

"Trust me, she can do it."

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke faced off against Voldemort, arms folded.

Then he just shrugged. "Amaterasu."

He strolled away whistling.

So… Karin would probably want to get married now. He needed to find a ring or something, right?

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: And here I present to you a chapter even crackier and more OOC than the last! I had a lot of fun just gradually twisting Sasuke from "arrogant but only a little OOC" to "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my own awesome."**

**And now, for the crackiest fun.**

o.o.o.o.o

**Omake: Sirius as Madara, Draco as Suigetsu, and Charlie as Juugo**

Molly watched fondly as her second-eldest son played with her only daughter. The girl had taken a strange liking to that brother beyond all the others, but no one really seemed to mind, least of all the two in question.

"Juugo, down!"

…Except for that she sometimes treated the boy like a dog and called him a strange name that no one really understood. Juugo was probably just easier to say than Charlie, but…

o.o.o.o.o

"So you're going to be working with dragons." Karin repeated, staring at Juugo with a look of disbelief. "That is just so ridiculously perfect that I can't even…"

"Uh… yeah."

"It's even more perfect than you ending up in Hufflepuff."

"Please stop bringing that up."

o.o.o.o.o

"Oi, Weaslette!" Draco called down the corridor. "You, me, that empty room on the fifth floor, and no clothes! Whatddaya say?"

Ginny flipped him the bird. "Up yours, Malfoy!"

"Ooh, anal? Kinky!" He dodged the inkwell. "Ta-ta, darling!"

o.o.o.o.o

Draco shrugged. "Well, yeah. You want his head on a silver platter or whatever."

Voldemort raised an eyebrow, or would have, had said eyebrow existed. "You don't want him dead?"

Draco shook his head, a sly smirk crossing his face. "No, I want him alive."

He continued without a pause, cutting off the comments before they happened.

"On my bed."

"Naked."

"Maybe covered in whipped cream."

He tapped his chin, ignoring the sickened looks from around the room. "Yeah, definitely want the whipped cream."

One Death Eater finally managed to croak out a horrified "Wh-what?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What? Oh, come on! Have you SEEN his abs?"

o.o.o.o.o

"Hn." Sirius made a small, dismissive noise in the back of his throat, one that only three people recognized and understood.

Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Hn."

Sirius turned to him, eyes narrowing as well. "Hn..."

"Hn!"

Ginny pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Hn?"

"Hn."

Snape palmed his face.

Charlie walked in. "Hey, so I found this bird, and it knows where Voldemort is."

"Not now, Juugo." Ginny waved him off. "We've got an Uchiha grunt battle going on."

"Hn!"

"HN."

"HN!"

"This is ridiculous." Snape muttered.

Sirius tossed his hair. "Hn."

Ginny, Snape, Harry, and Charlie all gasped. Ginny pointed at Sirius. "That was uncalled for! Penalty shot!"

"Hn?!" The man protested.

"Hn." Harry smirked, and thought it over. "...Hn."

Sirius threw a knife at him.

The rest of the room stared in confusion.


	3. Chapter 3

The third generation of this series of seemingly random reincarnation was that of the Red Hot Habanero and her best friend's husband, known in this world as Lily Luna Potter and James Sirius Potter.

…Yeah, you should _run like hell _now.

o.o.o.o.o

Unlike the previous two generations of reincarnations, these two were raised by a pair of people who were reincarnations themselves. And well aware of the possibility. And… familiar.

o.o.o.o.o

The moment that Fugaku had gotten used enough to his infantile ears to accurately start picking up noises and words, he started to listen. Half the time, he heard the people around him speaking a language he didn't understand at all, and half the time, he understood all too well.

Which is why he was a little… concerned.

The man that was supposedly his 'father' in this life, had the same name as his son in his first life. Or, sometimes he did. Sometimes he was referred to as "Hari," though Fugaku couldn't make heads or tails of it. But then he figured out a way to more or less end the confusion… sort of.

He was so quiet, most of the time, that any loud noise brought at least one parent down fairly quickly, even if it was with some strange, sharp noise that no shunshin should have. So when he started wailing (ugh, how embarrassing), he was pleased to see that his supposed "father" was down within seconds.

Of course, that meant that he stopped with the ridiculous noise just as soon as he heard the crack that signaled the entrance of one or the other. Wide awake, thankfully, as it was midday on a weekend, and seeming rather confused.

"C'mere…"

Hari reached into the crib and pulled him out, but rapid slapping and hitting from tiny hands prevented the man from pulling the baby to his chest to bounce him back to sleep.

One eyebrow raised, Hari stared at his supposed son, mildly confused. "…Well?"

"Are you taunting the baby?" A female voice, the mother of the house, called down.

"No, I think he's trying to taunt me!"

"Bullsh*t!"

"Now, now, language!"

"That's not what you said last night!"

Fugaku was now officially disturbed for life.

In an attempt to distract himself from the exceedingly uncomfortable conversation, he started smacking Hari's arm again.

Green eyes darted back to him. "Okay, what?"

Fugaku turned on his Sharingan, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"Karin, get your ginger a** down here _now._"

"Stop talking about my—"

"Sharingan baby!"

"…I'll be down in a second."

o.o.o.o.o

Oh god.

Sasuke put his face into his hands.

What a mind-f*ck.

The man that had been his father in one life was his son in this one.

How messed up was that?

Someone really hated him.

…He was going to call up Sirius with this. He needed someone to bother with the information. And maybe he could get Tonks and Teddy to come over as well. Getting one or both to imitate old family members would be fun.

Hm…

Oh.

Oh no.

He and Karin had been…

They'd been talking about…

In front of…

Oh, _f*cknuggets._

…He was definitely pressing this problem onto Sirius for a few hours. He needed a drink.

"If you're going to a pub, you are _not_ leaving me here."

Apparently, so did Karin.

o.o.o.o.o

Al, dear, sweet Al… was _normal_. Even one normal child was a handful, but it was a handful they were grateful for.

Unfortunately, Lily was not only abnormal, but also more of a handful than a regular child.

o.o.o.o.o

"Naruto's mother." Sasuke blinked at Karin, who huffed and crossed her arms.

"Yes, I already explained it to you."

"A former Jinchuuriki."

"Yes."

"The… 'Red Hot Habanero?'"

"Yes, Sasuke."

"…So Al is our only normal kid?"

"Looks like it."

"…This makes me sad."

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke pulled the silly string off of his hair, dreading what would happen the further in he walked.

"Daddy!" Al ran into his legs, hugging tightly. "Lily and James are fighting again!"

"…What about Mommy?"

"Aunty Hermy said she wanted to talk to her about Raven stuff." Al answered, hiding behind his father's leg. "Can you go make Lily and James stop now?"

"I can try, Al."

o.o.o.o.o

"No dragons."

"But it would be awesome!"

"Lily Luna Potter. Uzumaki Kushina. No. Dragons."

"What if I ask Uncle Charlie to—"

"No."

"…Can I at least get a pet fox?"

"You take joy in my misery, don't you?"

o.o.o.o.o

"Harry, Harry, Harry." Sirius slung an arm over his godson's shoulder. "Your daughter is going to be an amazing prankster in a few years."

"You do realize that she is the reincarnation of an extremely dangerous woman with a horrible temper and a penchant for pranks on the level of painting monuments, right?"

"…Your daughter is amazing. Can I adopt her from you?"

"Karin would kill me, so no."

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: While the premise for this one was amusing, the execution fell flat. To be fair, I had more ideas for the omake than for the actual story.**

**SEQUEL! Do I have your attention? Okay, so there **_**might **_**be a sequel, or a similar situation, anyway. Probably another hair-color name.**

**PLEASE go read my new SnK story, as well as my SnK/Naruto stories. Only getting a few reviews for each chapter makes me feel naked after so many stories where I actually have a significant 'haul' each time. If you've reviewed here, review there too. It'll make me happy!**

o.o.o.o.o

**Omake: Madara as Sirius, Suigetsu as Draco, Juugo as Charlie, Kurama as Hugo, Minato as Scorpius, Mikoto as Lysander**

"Oi, Sasuke." Karin walked in, an amused grin on her face, and handed him the phone. "It's Hermione."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but took the phone and put it to his ear. "Yes?"

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

He winced and pulled away a bit.

"WHY IS MY SON CLAIMING TO BE SOME DEMON FOX LORD THAT WANTS TO KILL ANYONE WITH THOSE RIDICULOUSLY OVERPOWERED EYES OF YOURS?"

Sasuke dropped the phone. He stared at it. He started to laugh.

Karin raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"J-just go get Lily."

o.o.o.o.o

"Sirius?"

"If you expect me to interact with your brats, I'm going to stab you."

"Can you babysit? Karin and I—"

"F*ck. You."

o.o.o.o.o

"Yo, Sasuke!" Suigetsu pulled himself out of the Floo, tugging Scorpius along behind him.

"Suigetsu, what the h*ll are you doing in my house?" Karin stepped forward, demanding.

He waved her off, raising his son's hand a little. "Reincarnation. Yondaime Hokage. I remembered what you said about Lily and—"

"MINATO!"

o.o.o.o.o

Karin dropped to her knees, hand over mouth, giggling. The letter in her other hand fell to the ground.

"Should I ask?"

"S-Sasuke-kun," Karin continued to giggle. "Apparently, one of the reincarnations didn't fit in with hair color _or_ sex."

"Eh?"

"Your mother was reincarnated as Lysander Scamander. Luna just told me."

There was a loud crash from the kitchen as Fugaku dropped a plate.

o.o.o.o.o

"D***it, whelp, let go of me!"

"Hm... nope! Oi, Minato!"

"...Hey, Kushina-chan. Why... why is, er, Hugo in a dress?"


End file.
